There is an old saying that time flies when you are having fun . . . the fact is time flies . . . my first unit of CPE is over . . . well, not quite as I have some work to catch up with this weekend.
So what do I think? . . . it has been challenging, but rewarding . . . it has stretched me in ways that I could never imagine . . . it has invited and forced me to look at myself critically . . . it has helped me in ways that the seminary nor the local parish did to continue exploring my own theology -- words about God . . . through this it seems that God is giving me another piece of the puzzle that is God's plan for me both in life and in ministry . . . I am now beginning to get a glimpse of what it looks like but there is still work to be done to fit the pieces together . . . discernment continues to find my next step in the journey . . . I have time and right now I am not anxious.
The most challenging thing of late has been the unit's final evaluation . . . it was a time where we had to reflect on the last three months from a variety of areas, including ourselves, our work, our theology and our interpersonal relationship . . . it was hard work, at least for me . . . for others it didn't seem to be hard work . . . this is one of the things that I have discovered about myself . . . I have high expectations of myself so have high expectations of others . . . when we don't live up to those expectations I pout . . . awareness is the first step to move out of unhealthy patterns . . . perfection is not possible . . . I have to learn how to accept that people, for the most part, do the best they can in given circumstances and if they don't they are responsible . . . the thing I wrestle with is if it affects me negatively . . . I see this in our group as folks are not willing to go deep . . . many of them want to swim on the surface and this does affect me . . . but at least I was able to say this so feel better.
Our unit ended with a day-long retreat . . . I dreaded it . . . it was great . . . a lot of time for silent reflection . . . a lot of time to think, pray and write . . . began in chapel by sitting quietly praying and then moved into the Chapel of God's Creation . . . it was a beautiful day . . . hearing, feeling, touching, smelling and seeing God's good creation all around . . . it was a good day . . . it has been a good unit . . . praise be to God.
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