Roller Coaster . . .

This CPE thing is a roller coaster . . . I am learning alot both about being a chaplain and, perhaps more importantly about myself . . . the latter is not always easy. One of the things I am learning about myself is communication is a major hurdle for me . . . both as the giver and as the receiver . . . I have spoken (written) about needing to be think before I speak . . . I also am finding that I am one of those people who spends time not listening because I am trying to think of what to say . . . awareness is the first step toward change . . . I notice this happens more in IPR rather than with patients and their families . . . I have also learned that there are people who won't give direct answers and this frustrates me immensely . . . there are people who with hold information and this also frustrates me . . . and there are people who give false information then to later say "no you never heard that." And so I am learning that clear communication is necessary and am recommitted to refining my communication skills which I always thought were adequate . . . and to give myself the benefit of the doubt maybe it is the other person.

The other part of the roller coaster is that I am covering more patients . . . I had had some problems with visiting after a recent death that brought back for me my aunt's horrific death . . . for some reason . . . maybe just giving voice to it I have surmounted this hurdle and have stepped up my seeing patients.

And then there is my health . . . during my pre-employment physical the nurse sent me to a walk-in clinic for high blood pressure . . . they also found my Blood Sugars were very high . . . I was pre-diabetic, but thought it was controlled . . . evidently my monitor wasn't working right and now the dx of diabetes . . . yesterday, the doctor asked if I was willing to go on an injectable med -- not insulin . . . did some research and it is a new med and there is some indication that there is the risk for thyroid cancer in a small number of patients . . . so I am working hard to do everything I can to let the oral meds work so watching my diet, drinking more water and have to start exercising (YUCK!)

So I am working to get off the roller coaster . . .

Lydia