Oh, no, NOT again . . .

Several months ago I was contacted and asked to be on an investigative team to handle an accusationn of sexual misconduct with one of the pastors in this area . . . I opted not to serve when I learned who else was on the committee (he had been on a committee I chaired and he did nothing, knew nothing about our polity, about how to interact with people) . . . God is good . . . I found out just a few days ago that the pastor has admitted to what he did -- I am not sure what that is . . . Sunday his pastoral relationship was dissolved . . . what happens next I don't know . . . what I do know is that this is the LAST guy I would have suspected . . . we were/are friends . . . he was the one person among my colleagues who I felt comfortable with in "letting it all hang out" . . . now I am questioning everything about him . . . I am questioning how he handled an informal accusation against one of the pastors in this area . . . this happened as I was going out of leadership so although I was on the fringes I now am able to put together some of the pieces and wonder if he manipulated this to let the guy off as he -- from rumblings, was involved in the somewhat the same situation . . . with the other the "problem" was resolved by the local church governing board by firing the woman and asking her to leave the church . . . by the time this done I was totally out of leadership . . . but now I understand the reason that the plan we had laid out was not followed . . . I now wonder if this was done on purpose?

The Church (and it doesn't matter what denomination) reminds me of the Japanese proverb of the Three Wise Monkeys . . . see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil . . . in some renderings of this proverb there is a 4th monkey with cross hands -- do no evil . . . now this proverb is most closely associated with what it means to live the virtuous life . . . however in this context I am using it to indicate that the Church is NOT living the virtuous life by refusing to see evil, shutting their ears to complains of evil, and not using their voice to condemn actions that assault the dignity of women, men and children by any form of clergy sexual misconduct . . . does the Church not remember that each of us are created in the Image of God.

I struggle with knowing all of this . . . it makes me complicit in a way as I am a part of the Church . . . I don't know what to do . . . I have raised my voice . . . and in raising my voice I have lost . . . so I continue to struggle praying God will open a door to letting me know how I am to be used in this situation.

Lord, have mercy

Lydia